The
diagnosis of this disease was devastating to Thom.
Exactly a year
before this he had a double-by-pass. He had been told there was no
damage to his heart and he would most likely "live to a ripe old
age".
Four months later he started getting extremely tired. Tests were
done, but nothing was found to be wrong with him.
On October the
18th 1996; because of the pain he was getting on the left side of
his chest, more tests were run. Nothing was found and his xray was
clear.
A month later, on November the 18th he was admitted into hospital
with pneumonia. From then on, the left lung was filled with fluid
which had to be drained each week.
Over the next 2 months a lot
of tests were done.
On the 7th of January 1997, Thom was told the diagnosis. He had
Pleural Mesothelioma. There was no cure. He was going to die, and to
go home and get his affairs in order.
Because of the way Thom was
told this news, he never really got over it. He literally died that
day and existed till his actual death on the 1st of June.
" Because all hope was taken from him."
He could not cope with the idea of no hope. That day, his dreams
were taken away from him. His life and his very existence.
There
had to be a better way to tell him.
The disbelief, despair,
disheartenment, distress and dismay never left Thom's eyes till the
day he died.
He was so brave when his family and friends visited
him ,and always tried to be cheerful for them. But it took so much
out of him.
No one thought to ask his family, who had known him so much
longer than them; what would be the best way to tell Thom this very
sad news.
Two months after Thom died, my sister was diagnosed with cancer
and told that she could not be cured.
But she was given some hope
of time, from chemotherapy if it worked.
She lived her time of
dying, whereas Thom died his time of living.
It was so different
in the way they handled their last time on earth.
I believe the way they were told the diagnosis made the
difference.
The time between The two photos of Thom is three months.
From
the beginning of November to the end of January.
The 2nd photo tells it all.
Doesn't it ?
What Thom wrote to me just six weeks before he died.
To my dear wife on our 34th wedding anniversary.
I still love
you the same as I did all those years ago, Deidre
Thank you for
sharing my dreams, my life , my love.
Happy anniversary.
Love
always.
May we have a few more months together to express our
love.
xxxx
Thom.
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