One week later they told him that he had right pleural effusion, pleural plaques, and LUNG CANCER, consistent with asbestos exposure.
He died less than a month later.
I was with him 24/7 from March 28th through April 20th when he died at home.

We brought him home on April 19th, he knew he was coming home to die and it is where he wanted to be.
He died at the exact time our two daughters' flight in from Texas was scheduled to land. He was a wonderful father and an exceptional husband, there was much love and life and happiness and what we had together I know is a once in a lifetime fantastic gift.
We did EVERYTHING (even working on cars, cutting grass, etc.) together. I cannot go anywhere or do anything where he isn't there (driving down the road, the mall, the grocery store, nowhere).

 He was a Navy Veteran, having served two tours in Viet Nam, a Sr. Engineman, exposed to asbestos and Agent Orange. He was also an auto mechanic prior to and after his military service, again being exposed to asbestos (brake shoes, etc.). But, this is not the sole reason I am writing.

My husband was buried at Cheltenham Veterans Cemetery in Maryland with FULL honours.

 After his funeral, I, of course, have been back to visit.
(I also visit my brother, a Navy Veteran (age 47) who died 6 weeks after my husband.)

Anyway, on one visit I began walking up and down the rows of graves in the section my husband was buried
a new section just being utilized) and I got about 5 rows down and went back to the first row and started over again, this time taking note of how many of the markers said "Viet Nam" and how many of the dates of birth were between 1940 and 1950 and then how many of the dates of death were from January 1st 2002 up to the time my husband died.
I was shocked to say the least. Of course I don't know what each one died from but the number was about 1 in 4 that fit into this category (Viet Nam, born 1940-1950).
So, no one can tell me that there wasn't something going on in Viet Nam.

My husband also had symptoms of having been exposed to Agent Orange (Diabetes II, peripheral neuropathy, etc.) which we had started checking into before he was diagnosed with lung cancer.
My heart goes out to all of those who have lost loved ones, I know only too well their pain.
I also know their financial struggle

I have contacted the VA regarding the possibility of filing a survivors claim on his behalf for the Agent Orange and get referred to this place or that place and referred again, and again.

And God forbid you mention asbestos.
I have also contacted an Attorney regarding the asbestos exposure and even though its on his death certificate, referred to in his medical records, etc.

 I am not hopeful there either.

Why am I doing this?,
Because my husband, while in the hospital, took my hand and said "Honey, I'm not going to be here to take care of you, please don't let them get away with this", "I love you, please forgive me for failing you".
I thought my heart was going to break right in half.
For failing me? ??
I told him "I love you too, and you have never failed me, our 22 years together were more than I could have dreamed for so don't you ever think that you failed me".
And then I laid beside him, we held each other and cried together, each trying to give strength to the other, to find the "right" words to say to lessen each others fears and pain.
Anyway Deidre,
I am emailing you for my husband. To tell his story. Let others know how quickly exposure to asbestos can take a life.

Thank you for your time and letting me vent a little.
and so others know about asbestos and the military.
God Bless you.
Dinah

Hello Deidre,  Well, below is Cliff's story.  I am not a writer,  but I did my best.  Let me know what you think, ok?  God Bless and take care.   CLIFFORD EBERLE 9/20/1945 - 4/20/2002   Before I tell you Cliff's story, I want to share with you a little bit about the man he was.  He was a father, a husband, a grandfather, a son, a brother, an uncle, a friend, a mechanic, a handy-man, a gardener, a boater, a carpenter, a builder, an electrician, a dreamer, a talker, a listener, a jokester, a comedian, a yarn teller, a hard worker, a provider and he was the love of my life.   Cliff was born on 9/20/1945. He was a twin, the first set of twins his mother would have. His twin sister was Connie.  Cliff had an older sister, Sonja, a younger set of twin brothers, Kenny and Keith, and finally the youngest brother, Martin.   Cliff was in the US Navy from 1966 through 1969.  He was an Engineman.  My 2 1/2 year old daughter and I met Cliff in January of 1980. He was an automobile mechanic (who over the years became an ASE Certified Master Mechanic).  He was an attractive man who had a smile that just lit up his whole face. It was the smile of a man who was happy with life. And he did enjoy life, especially being on the water.  Soon after we met we became a family.  Life was good.   As a father to my daughter he was caring but strict. He wouldn't accept "I can't", 'cause you could, and when he wanted it done he wanted it done! But let someone hurt her feelings or break her heart, oh yeah he was ready to kick butt. He had a close relationship with my (our) daughter.  He also accepted into his life and family my daughter's half-sister from a previous marriage.  He was a loving, caring man who took pride in his job, his home and his family. He had a sense of humor that just wouldn't quit.  He was always willing to help others.  He worked everyday, played on the weekends, loved to share holidays with family and friends and looked forward to growing old --- together.   I have decided to include the following as part of Cliff's story to bring awareness to the fact that veterans during the Viet Nam era who were exposed to "agent orange" may have health issues that are directly related to this exposure.  It was around 1998 when we began to investigate into the causes for Cliff's health changes, i.e., peripheral neuropathy, diabetes II, etc.  A fairly healthy, active man he had developed multiple health issues over the past couple of years. His problems didn't fit his family history. What was going on?   Well, over the course of time and talking to different family and friends it came to our attention that we might want to look into illnesses associated with "agent orange".  So we contacted the VA and to our surprise a number of health issues Cliff had developed were related to "agent orange" and connected to his service in Viet Nam.  By this time it was the year 2000 and we began to pursue this avenue with the VA.  It was a lengthy process as we lived in a very rural area and the VA representatives only came to town every couple of months.  http://www1.va.gov/agentorange  Cliff passed away before we could complete the process but I though this information might be helpful to someone else.   During 2000 Cliff developed pain in his hips and legs that continued to worsen.  In early 2001 examination revealed that Cliff had bi-femoral aorta blockage.  He needed a bi-femoral bypass.  Of course he had to have medical clearance for the surgery.  When Cliff was 38 years old he'd had a heart attack which damaged 1/3 of his heart so he had to have a stress test for clearance. In May 2001 during the test he had severe chest pain and was sent to the hospital to have an angiogram done.  The angiogram showed 3 blockages of at least 90 - 98 percent.  He was immediately taken into surgery for a triple bypass.  In July, after recovering from the heart bypass he was scheduled for the bi-femoral bypass.  He did well during the surgery and felt great for the first two weeks after the surgery.   Over the next two months the pain in his legs came back and he began to have numbness in his legs.  A trip back to the doctor revealed that his body had apparently rejected the synthetic material used for the bypass and he would have to have a second surgery but this time they would use veins from his legs for the bypass.  So in late September 2001 he had a second successful bi-femoral bypass.  In late November 2001 he went in for his last follow-up appointment and was given a good "clean" bill of health.  Cliff had talked to the doctor about cancer and his concerns and the doctor did a blood test that supposedly could tell if one had cancer anywhere.  The "clean" bill of health included the doctor telling Cliff that he was "cancer free".  While Cliff still had other health issues he was ecstatic with all the results of the surgeries and blood work.  He felt good for the first time in a long time and had vowed to make changes in his life, and he did.   I was elated that all of the surgeries were behind us and that he was finally feeling good and we could get back to a normal life. Well in early January 2002 Cliff began to complain  of pain under his right shoulder blade. We went to our primary doctor and were told "you have been through a lot, you've had three major surgeries in less than a year, you body is healing, give it time".  The pain continued to worsen and radiate and we were constantly going back to the doctor (at least once a week to every other week). Cliff was given pain medication and medicine to help him sleep and still told to give it time. Every evening I came home from work Cliff would come to the kitchen, lean over the kitchen table and say "baby please rub my back" and hand me whatever (Ben Gay, Aspercream, etc.).  I would rub his back and pray that it would give him some relief.  On March 18th, 2002 I took Cliff to the emergency room.  His pain was so bad he could hardly breath or stand.  An abdominal CAT scan was done.  Why?  Because we had mentioned that he had previously had kidney stones.  Well, the results of the CAT scan showed that he didn't have any kidney stones but he did have lesions on his liver (that's all the doctor would say) and Cliff was told to see his primary doctor right away.  He was given some pain medication and sent home.  As we were leaving I walked over to the doctor and said ever so softly, "he has cancer doesn't he?" and the doctor nodded his head.  I was totally numb, I was going to throw up.  On the way home Cliff was going on about doctors and they don't know what they're doing, etc. and I just let him vent and was basically silent with my own thoughts running through my head.     On  March 19th I called our primary doctor and insisted on an appointment that day but you know how that goes.  I left a message for the doctor to call me back thinking that she would work him in sooner than the receptionist could schedule him.  She saw him on the 20th and we told her about our trip to the emergency room.  She scheduled Cliff to have some additional tests done and scheduled him to see a specialist the following week.  He had the tests done on the 22nd and was scheduled to see the specialist on the 26th. On the 25th the primary doctor called and told Cliff the results of the tests and that he needed to see the specialist for further evaluation. We went to see the specialist who after looking at all the x-rays, etc., told Cliff he believed he had mesothelioma, an asbestos related cancer and that it was in the late stages.  He called our primary doctor and sent us back to see her on the 27th.  On the 27th our primary doctor arranged to have Cliff admitted to the hospital on the 28th.  Cliff was admitted on the 28th and was seen by a barrage of doctors.  On the 29th Cliff was taken to have more xrays, scans, etc.  He was treated by one of the technicians with less respect than you would give a piece of dirt. The technician was insisting that Cliff had to lay down on this table until they were ready to do the scan and he was trying to tell her to please let him sit up until they were ready because he couldn't breath laying down and the pain was unbearable. The technician had the audacity to tell him to "talk to the hand" and told the admitting doctor that he was uncooperative. Then the admitting doctor had the audacity to ask me why he was being so uncooperative.  There were other hospital staff who were witness to the whole thing and took up for Cliff.  Well I won't tell you what I told the admitting doctor and to make a long story short we insisted he be discharged and we left the hospital.    On March 31st, with all records in hand, I took Cliff to another hospital emergency room.  He was immediately admitted.  He was treated with compassion and great care by everyone.  His condition was progressing faster than they could keep up with, faster than they had ever seen.  X-rays, tubes, oxygen, biopsies, etc., everyday was worse than the day before.   Everyday he lost a little more of his battle and a little more of his will to live.  He suffered terribly.  I was with him everyday, 24/7 from March 28th until he passed away at home on April 20th, 2002 surrounded by family and friends and hospice.  His final diagnosis was adenocarcinoma cause by asbestos.  Asbestos he was exposed to as an Engineman in the US Navy.   I know I rambled on above but I wanted you to know how quickly and unexpectedly asbestos related diseases can take a loved one away from you, and perhaps provide you with some additional information.  If someone you know has EVER been exposed to asbestos PLEASE advise your physician and REQUEST that they do a special chest xray that can detect very early signs of asbestos exposure.  I know there is a special x-ray because I have it done because Cliff was also a mechanic and I would wash his uniforms and could have second hand exposure.    I also want to let you know that there may be help for you through the VA.  If you have lost a loved one or have a loved one that was exposed to asbestos while they served in the military or if their illness can be service connected you may be eligible. It was about a year after Cliff passed away that a friend told me to check with the VA about DIC (Dependency and Indemnity Compensation).  I did and found out that as the spouse of a veteran who might be considered 100% disabled at the time of his death due to a service connected illness I might be eligible.  Well I did all the paperwork, submitted all the information requested and the VA conceded that Cliff was 100% disabled at the time of his death due to a service connected illness and I was eligible for DIC.  I get a monthly payment from the VA, tax free, and will for the rest of my life.  I also get Champ VA medical coverage and I get a military ID for exchange and commisary privileges.   I'm telling you this because if you don't know and don't ask they won't tell you.  Don't let them tell you no over the phone.  Get the forms, complete the forms and submit everything they ask for.  As soon as you know someone is disabled and it could be service connected contact the VA immediately.  If someone has passed away and you believe it was service connected contact them NOW.  Go to the www.VA.gov website and check out everything.  I am also eligible for other benefits such as educational and home loan guarantee but I wouldn't have know it if a friend hadn't suggested I look into it.  Search the website, call all the numbers, do whatever you have to do and find out what you may be eligible for.  And don't forget to check into illnesses that could be associated to Agent Orange a chemical used during Viet Nam.  There are benefits out there you just have to find them.   Thanks for reading Cliff's story and I hope I've helped in some way by sharing it with you.   In loving memory,   Dee   Hello Deidre! Thank you for contacting me after such a long time. It has been seven years now since Cliff died. The year following his death was quite a year. Six weeks after Cliff died I lost my brother, age 44, from a massive heart attack. I got laid off from my job, of 19 years, and ended up having to file bankruptcy. One year and one day after my brother died, my sister's husband was killed in a jet ski accident. Shortly after that I had to sell my home and I moved in with my sister. We banded together, she and I, to try and keep going. Finally, in August of 2006 she sold her home and we moved to North Carolina to start over. Both of us dealt with "memories". Her husband and mine were very close and we did a lot of things together. Anyway Deidre, I did have positive results from the VA. I filed a claim for widow's benefits (DIC - dependency and indemnity compensation) providing all the information I could about his exposure to asbestos (ships, dates, etc.) and they conceded that his illness was service connected and that he was 100% disabled at the time of his death and awarded me a monthly DIC payment. This is for the rest of my life and it is tax free! Oh, in addition to the DIC payment I also got a military ID so I can shop at the commissary and the exchange, And I also got Champ VA insurance coverage - all at no cost. Maybe this is something that could be passed on to other widows. Of course I didn't learn about these benefits until about two years after Cliff died. As far as the wrongful death claim I filed against the asbestos manufacturers, well, that is another story. No million dollar settlements there. The law firm has only sought compensation from manufacturers of automotive parts, as my husband was a mechanic. The "awards" can be large (highest one was $95,000) BUT because all of the companies are in bankruptcy the settlements are only about 1 to 2 % of the award. And of course, after legal fees the actual amount received is even smaller. I try to look at it positively though when a settlement comes in (which is few and far in between). It's more than I would have had. The law firm tells me they are working to be able to file against the asbestos manufacturers of the ships Cliff was on but I think that is new territory for them. It seems that only the California law firms know how to get those big $$$ . Anyway, I am grateful for what the VA has given me and for the settlements I do get. I am now a grandmother! I have a 4 year old grandson, Joseph Clifford, and a 1 1/2 year old granddaughter, Hannah Grace. Let me tell you, when my grandson was born I was there and it was amazing. I didn't think I would ever feel happy again but when my grandson came into this world I knew that God had given me a gift because my heart just burst with this overwhelming joy. My grief was gone, in an instant. And let me tell you, I am a doting grandmother. I cannot get enough of my grandchildren, lol. My memories of Cliff are now stories that I tell my grandchildren. Some with tears but mostly without. My sister and I are doing well. We were always close and get along well. We are the female version of the "Odd Couple," So what about yourself? How are you doing? Do you still have your website? Send me a link if you do. And, if any of the information I have shared can help someone else, please feel free to share it with them. God Bless you. Dee

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